Now that little doozie was posted on the DailyMailUK's website. They show Chelsy Davy slathered in fake tan and glowing like she's radioactive. Judging by her reaction I'm guessing that the bust up wasn't her idea. The Mail leaves it to be inferred that when Davy got dumped by Prince Harry, she went nuts with the fake tan lotion. I don't know about her future, but her face is so bright I gotta wear shades! In fact if she slips any further into the infra red range of the spectrum, she will visible only to bats!
Celebrity Nit Wits
By the way Paris Hilton and Tara Reid ("Paris makes me look like a rock scientist") aren't the only notables to suffer from public brain freeze. Here are some misspeaks of the rich and famous -
A very true statement from Al Gore "A zebra does not change its spots" (he said this again a year later!) Well he is the expert on ecology.
"I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness." That is really deep Alicia Silverstone.
"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada" “I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.” - who else but Britney Spears.
“Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.” Yeah Brooke Shields, the whole life partin fact.
"So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?" Christina Aguilera
"Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything" Ivana Trump
“Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know its tuna, but it says 'Chicken by the Sea.'”
"Platypus? I thought it was pronounced platymapus. Has it always been pronounced platypus?" Jessica Simpson
"Platypus? I thought it was pronounced platymapus. Has it always been pronounced platypus?" Jessica Simpson
"It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher." Yep, that's never going to offend anyone Linda Evangelista, except maybe those ugly, underpaid teachers.
"Nicky and I are different in this crucial way, She's better at shopping than I am." "Whenever I write an e-mail, it doesn't mean anything. It is just words I write." Paris Hilton
"I'm sounding worse than Jessica Simpson right now. She's looking like a rock scientist" Well that statement isn't doing you any favours now is it Tara Reid?
"I'm using my brain for the first time in a long time." Victoria Beckham
"Let’s get one thing straight. Crack is cheap. I make too much money to ever smoke crack. Let’s get that straight. Crack is whack." Whitney Houston
I'm beginning to think that we were way too hard on George W Bush.
Celebrity Belligerence
Speaking of celebrity nit wits Jessica Alba has jumped to her own defense - it's a dirty job but one one's gotta do it. As you'll recall Alba got into some trouble at the recent Obama inaugural. That was a heady day, and the entire schoolyard was twittering and twitching with hope. Now that people had everything exactly the way they wanted, there was no limit to what they might do, and consequently they were full of them selves - or drunk on hope (or like Diane Sawyer just plain drunk, apparently).
While the festivities were unfolding, a mild manner reporter approached Jessica Alba. he wanted to know what her thoughts, if any, might be on the new President. Jess took the opportunity to turn the tables on the hapless journalisto, by whipping out a pocket recorder (scary that she carries one of those around on her - just in case) and asking him what he thought was Pres Obama's greatest asset as a leader. The guy, who was more accustomed to asking then answering, hummed and hawed until finally arriving at a clumsy and non committal response about being neutral. "Oh yeah" Alba retorted, "Be Sweden about it".
Now TMZ and Bill O Reilly were quick to jump on Alba's case over this - pointing out that she probably meant Switzerland. What they probably took offense with was Alba's attempt to upset the natural order of things, by turning the tables. TMZ has been blistering in it's criticisms of Ms Alba's intelligence and acting. So Ms Alba has decided to set the record straight.
On her Myspace blog, Alba pointed out that Sweden was neutral during WW2. In fact there was a major movie made about it called Schindler's List. I believe that it won an Oscar or something. TMZ & co. weren't having any of it. They stand by there initial insults claiming that though she is technically correct, the common reference to WW2 neutrality is Switz., not Sweden. They have also taken issue with her online handle Jay_Eh, phonetic for JA. They have an even nifty name for her - MiserAlba.
So it seems that the only thing Ms Alba, or JayEh, has done is to antagonize the press; just the way she antagonized Playboy by claiming she was too Christian to be on their hot list (and she never was again), and then claiming that she was too hot for church (the other Christians were leering at her). Oh yeah, and she occasionally antagonizes her fans by setting her dog on them, and antagonizes sales persons by making expensive purchases and then getting her staff to return them for a full refund. Antagonizing the media can't be good for her image. Besides you know you're in trouble when even America's Most Hated Bill O Reilly is scoring points off of you. What next??
Now in the woman's defense she seems brighter than your average celeb, though she's still no rock scientist. The worse you can say is that she tried to pull a half assed stunt without any kind of finesse. Still that seems to have been enough to put the dogs on her scent. Besides, carrying around a pocket recorder is just being so Nixon. Now brace yourself for the barrage of Alba is the new Simpson references. If she gains 30 pounds TMZ will have a field day!
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