Let me see your palm - it looks like you haven't done honest work in ages!
The Oscars may have diverted people's attention from the economic crisis for 15 minutes, but the truth has a way of setting in - in the morning only the Oscar winners are reasonably assured of continued employment. The rest of us have to take our chances. Maybe that's why people are trying to find more effective means of staving off reality - in the form of psychics!Bogus Psychic
Professional 'seer' Valerie Morrison reports to WCBStv that her business is booming. Prior to the meltdown she reveals that most of her business came from women with mundane questions - "Is my husband cheating on me?" and "Will I meet some one better? (tape recording some of those discussions could prove a lucrative sideline!)" Now she says that she is inundated with nervous business types wanting to know whether they should buy, sell, or merely whether they will still have a job a month or two down the road.
Break it to me gently, but tell me what I want to hear
"They're panicking, 'Am I going to be laid-off from this job? Am I going to be fired? Am I going to have enough money to have my children go to college?'" Madame Morrison reveals. She also goes on to share that she is swamped with work from the desperate who are willing to blow the money they've got lest on some good news. If they want good news then they've gone to the right person. Morrison says that she expects a financial up turn in April, followed by a very positive summer. I fear that if people are squandering money that they can afford on crystal ball gazers, then that goes some way towards explaining our current woes. Still it can hurt to keep money in circulation. Maybe Obama should've added a section for psychics in his stimulus plan? Just remember that there's now refund on the future, if Ms Morrison's predictions don't pan out. As for the rest of us maybe it's time to dust off the tarot cards and cash in?? Avoiding a hard days work is perhaps something that Ms. Morrison shares in common with many of her clients. I wonder how well she did at picking the Oscar winners, just by way of an accuracy test? Mocksure got 3 out of 5! Maybe you could send you money this way? I can tell you what you want to hear - just give me a chance (Aiding the public's willful denial is part of a journalist's job!)! I do know a thing or two about distracting people from reality - just take a look at Gisele Bundchen in a bikini!
Now here are some predictions tabloid style: Nadya Suleman, Rihanna, Brangelina, Jennifer Aniston.
Oh yeah and another prediction - Brangelina are through. Neither Brad or Angie bagged an Oscar. Their star egos won't be able to stand being old news. John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston on the other hand are on - Aniston opened up the red carpet world of Hollywood for Mayer and now he's star struck. His ego is hooked. Like Mickey Rooney said on the Simpsons - "The only thing hollow about the entertainment business is the music industry". Of course the Mickster was being facetious and that was a half truth.
Hey there, you with the stars in your eyes
Looks like he's hooked. He got his first taste of Hollywood's high beam spotlight and he likes it. Now here's a couple that might've been even more of a hit!
Who said that Hollywood has lost it's touch with comedy. Hey wait a minute, that wasn't funny! Whether Joaquin Phoenix is faking or not, that's really more of a cheap shot!
Now for Mocksure's political content in the form of fear mongering, alarmism, and a purported glimpse of the future!
So who could be behind all this uncertainty? I opt for the usual suspects - none other than America's best known secret societies!
I just hope that they're better at taking over the world than they are at keeping their secret societies secret! Pseudo scholarship & conspiracy theories are also a growth industry!!
Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists
