Thursday, March 5, 2009

quod me nutrit me destruit

Dom Deluise - Morbidly obese and eating himself into oblivion

It looks like comedian Dom Deluise may be pulling a Pavarotti. The 75 year old 325 pound actor has less than three months to live, friends fear. Now Dom's health has never been good. Only last year the star was treated for prostate and penile cancer. He also suffers from a heart condition and diabetes.

Part of his problem remains his eating. Friends claim that Deluise is shoveling it in full throttle. His favourite is high carb pasta. In fact his condition has reached such a point that he has had to give up cooking; not because it's a temptation, but be cause he is no longer able to stand at the stove. The actor is now wheel chair bound. Also his breathing has become laboured, his diabetes is out of control, and his heart condition is worsening.

Friends fear that Deluise has only months left to live. They also fear that his knows what he's doing. They suspect that he has either given up and decided to enjoy himself, or is deliberately eating himself into the grave. One source tells the National Enquirer that "He's not even trying now. He's eating everything he wants and then some. He's decided to go out on his won terms".

Crazy Alien Weight Loss

One woman who's as good at taking it off as she is at packing it on is Milla Jovovich! Milla put on 70 pounds while pregnant with her daughter Ever Gabo. She was even tagged Enormous Milla by the tabs. Yet within 3 months of giving birth she was almost back to normal. Today Milla is back at her working weight. So what's her secret? No secret - just hard work, exercise, balanced diet and in Milla's words "crazy alien weight loss".

Now at first this seemed like some kind of typo. Maybe she meant Crazy Alan's weight loss. Perhaps Crazy Alan is some new diet and fitness guru that LA seems to churn out by the dozen.  Imagine a cross between Richard Simmons and Tony Little, with some Susan Powter thrown in to add the right edge. Sounds like a recipe for disaster!

Well it turns out that Momma Milla was not misquoted. She really did say that she l;ost weight like a crazy alien - "Diet and lots of exercise, I worked my big, little butt off. I do want another baby but not for a little bit. I've only just lost all the weight so I want to enjoy my old body for a while before I have to become a crazy alien again."

However the weight loss wasn't all crazy aliens. There was the usual weight loss expert involved, in this case Hollywood Trainer Harley Pasternak. Harley has a 5 Point program, and carefully monitors what he's clients eat. Milla confesses on FOX TV that she was eating oatmeal for a week at one point. To make sure that clients stick to the program Pasternak has specially prepared meals taken to their homes. I wonder what they calls these celebrity meals on wheels - Pastersnacks?




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