Regis strikes out as a dad
Regis Philbin doels out the dough on his Who Wants to Be a millionaire, but in real life he can be tight fisted. He also won't be getting any father of the year awards. His daughter came to public attention when the National Enquirer reveals that she was a crack addict and circling the drain. Now Philbin's son is in some serious trouble. His son Danny also managed to get himself into the pages of the National Enquirer, after a much publicized suicide attempt, and here's the insider story:
son goes 'batty'
Though a double amputee, Danny still managed to hold down a job with the Pentagon. His condition did put a strain on his marriage. According to his estranged wife Judy Philbin, Danny kept insisting that he could no longer function as a complete man and husband to her. His suggestion was that she find a man to have an affair with, to fulfill her sexual needs. Whether out of malice, or naivety, Judy took him at his word. When Danny found out, he went nuts. Armed with a baseball bat he went on a destruction spree, and broke everything in the house - including Judy's prized Waterford crystal! he then capped the incident off with an attempted over dose on Darvron and Xanax. That's when friends intervened and took him to Loma Linda Medical Center. After treatment with a stomach pump, he was then confined to the psych ward.
Regis swings into action...
Now Regis may have his short comings but one thing you can say is that he's there for his kids; once the situation gets critical and is leaked to the press. Judy notified the Enquirer about the sad state of affairs, and Regis announced that he had swung into action. If another e mail of Danny's is any indication however, Philbin's support seems to be more of the moral variety (the kind that don't cost you anything but allows you to tell some one what to do and gets you off the hook with the public - "Well if he won't follow my advice what can I do for him??") Danny claims that he was informed by his father's business managers that his 5000 allowance was being cut back. Danny further goes ion to reveal that they never actually visited him to access his situation. They have no idea what is required by a retired wheel chair bound retiree" he says.... but will he get on the ball?
So it looks like a bleak situation for Danny Philbin. Even more so since Danny ends his letter with some pathetic revelations delivered in the 3rd person: "The son in the wheel chair now lives alone with no real means of protection, but sleeps with a baseball bat next to his bed". I can only hope that Regis gets on the ball, for the sake of his public image if nothing else. Celebrities are having image malfunctions left, right, and center these days, so it pays to stay on your toes. Besides, having one messed up kid might be bad luck, having two makes you look like Ryan O Neil! Then again Regis didn't make it rich by throwing around a lot of money - oh yeah, in fact he did, it just wasn't his money. Maybe Nadya Suleman could do something for Danny Philbin? If the rumours about her checking out million dollar mansions are any indication she seems to be doing OK!
News from the Mother Ship - this just in!!
What's Tom Cruise up to these days?? About 5'7", and he's gearing Katie up for another pregnancy! Rumour has it that Katebot is on a strict detox regime to make her womb Thetan ready! That's why she's looking even more lobotomized than usual lately! Tom hasn't forgotten about the bright lights of Hollywood though. He has a master plan to restore his popularity with a project based on a little known 1970's TV Sci Fi drama, and he's begging President Barack Obama to co star in it with him - click here for the gory details! Good luck, Major Tom, and I hope that the Obama Effect pays off for you! Oh yeah, and "Free The Home World!"
Now how's that for a Spaced Out Sunday? Well then what about this?? It's life, but not as we know it.
More head cases with a plan for the future - where have we heard that before??
People don't change; they only become more so.
Theirs is a peaceful mission, thought I'd feel more reassured if their phasers weren't locked on
Ever hear the old phrase 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions'? Well it seemed like a good idea at the time. In this case the good idea is called The Venus Project - Though it sounds like a lost Star Trek episode, it actually refers to a world where there is nothing we can't accomplish, armed with the weapons of mass creation! It only requires a complete collapse of the world around us. Apart from noting that 'weapons' is an odd choice of word to apply to the instruments of creation, I can only mention that the high minded visionaries forgot to reckon with the fact that we're still inside the obsolete institutions that they're so eagerly knocking down! Their commitment to improve world conditions at the expense of the inhabitants reminds me of HAL 9000 in 2001 A Space Odyssey, and makes me feel like an occupant of the World Trade Center on 911! At least they're not telling us that this is gonna hurt them more than it hurts us. There's no need to insult people's intelligence while you're inflicting your vision of the future on them. That would be adding insult to injury!
A Habitat for Humanity or more mad men with a plan - just like Hitler!
They have plans for your future, that don't include you. It's a truly frightening dystopian vision of the world to come that might well have frozen the blood of Aldous Huxley or George Orwell solid in their veins! Faced with this technocracy, I think that the only question any post modernist can ask is "How can I stop this??" ... and they say there's no Illuminati. I like their idea of creating a better world through expressing contempt though. It's what Mocksure is about! As for political vandalism, that's best left to the high minded idealists. As for foiling super villains planning a new and better world, that's really more of a job for James Bond.
PS. Even though the Venus Project claims to be the thinking of analytically minded techies, they have no clear plan about how they're gonna accomplish their brave new world. Their rosy future seems to be encompassed by the catch all phrase 'technology'. They have some very clear and specific ideas about how they plan to tear everything down, like you quiting your job. I guess they've given that more thought. To put it in practical terms you might well ask them "how many people do you plan on killing to get this thing off the ground?" Certainly any one who disagrees with them for a start. Well sacrifices will have to be made, like your jobs; and you can't make an omelet without breaking eggs. There in lies a fundamental problem with utopias.
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