The Stars Are So Big The Earth Is So Small... Stay As You Are << Public Lifestyle

The instant involvement that accompanies instant technologies triggers a conservative, stabilizing, gyroscopic function in man, as reflected by the second-grader who, when requested by her teacher to compose a poem after the first Sputnik was launched into orbit, wrote: “The stars are so big / The earth is so small / Stay as you are.” The little girl who wrote those lines is part of the new tribal society; she lives in a world infinitely more complex, vast and eternal than any scientist has instruments to measure or imagination to describe.

~Marshall McLuhan

La Vida Loca

It's been quite a week gossip wise, and what have we learned from the past seven days of cautionary tales? Well for one thing we've learned that Oprah's ego continues to expand to frightening new dimensions. Poor Ellen Degeneres is currently endanger of getting swallowed by it!

We've also learned that when the chips are down, even celebrities can get pathetic and desperate, like Chris Nolan's felonious brother. He may be on the verge of extradition to face the music, but look on the bright side - when he gets out he might be on the short list for a date with Anne Hathaway! I hear that she has horrible taste in men.

It's important to be hopeful, that's another thing. We can thank Courtney Love for that one. In fact her incoherent Myspace rant has given many much good cause for hope. If what she says is true than we can throw our death anxiety out the window. Not only has Kurt Cobain's musical career survived his own untimely demise, but he's branched out into real estate! Death isn't the barrier to leading a rich full involved life that it once was. I think that I might even go into politics after my own passing, and perhaps even start voting!

That kind of hope is reassuring. Natasha Richardson has shown us that death comes for us all, even celebrities. Poor Natasha was cut down in her prime, during a freak skiing accident. Though first reports described her as Liam Neeson's wife, as the story picked up steam she became an independent entity. So much so that Liam is now being referred to as the husband of late actress Natasha Richardson.

Jessica Lange was so inspired by the whole thing that she felt the need to throw herself against something hard while vacationing in Minnesota (perhaps it was just out of boredom?). Unfortunately for her she wasn't badly damaged in the fall - she only hit her head. Generally it is the least sensitive part of a celebrity's anatomy; though the also the largest and and most sore. Neeson didn't seem very encouraged though. He looked pale and haggard as he waved meekly to the paparazzi hounding him into and out of the hospital. Knowing that the show will remorselessly plow on, even over your dead body, can't be much consolation.

Fame can be an exacting life style. It's promises you the world, but it asks for everything you've got. That's why it takes a strong amazing person to continue along the path. Some one like Katie Holmes for instance. She has shown that there is still something to learn even while living an amazing life. Like an expensive make over can help cover the damage caused by too much self improvement. Her husband Tom Cruise splashed out about $100 000 to give the missus a high gloss coat of varnish in time for the Tokyo premier of Valkyrie! I wonder if the make over included a few tips on deportment?

Tom: In her own quite way Katie is just as interesting as Paris, Lindsay, or even Britney, isn't that right Katie?

Katie: Yes Tom.

Tom: Katie do you remember what I told you about agreeing with me in public? People will think that you don't have a mind of your own.

Katie: Sorry Tom.

Just amazing! Give her credit for surviving the process, so far. She is faring better than poor old Adnan Ghalib. Life was never the same after the circus came to town, and he fell through the looking class. Britney singled him out from the pack, and turned him from an anonymous nobody into one of the most famous young men in the world. It was as if she thought "How would you like to be in my shoes?", and then realized that was possible!

After being rendered unfit for any useful employment, there are now rumours that Adnan is about to be deported to Afghanistan! Most celebrities just curse out their cruel tormentors in the press, but it took Britney Spears to literally fuck one over. I guess they won't be too eager to mess with her again anytime soon - "Hey buddy, do you want to be my boyfriend too?". Of course that's why Britney is more than a celebrity; she's a force of nature, like hurricanes, earthquakes, and tidal waves! Then again it's not so easy on the business end of the telephoto lens. At least we won't be hearing that "They put themselves out there so they ask for it" excuse from the press corps. Sorry Adnan, though they may send you back, you can never really go home again.

So with some grudging respect I have to admit that it does take a special sort of person to be a celebrity. It takes more toughness, resiliency, and singlemindedness than a sensible person would wish to have. When life hands you a lemon, hire a film crew and pitch a reality TV deal; just like Chantal Kreviazuk would've done if she had any ambition. She should be thankful that she doesn't have any ambition left. Being that strong and amazing isn't necessarily an advantage. A weaker person would've come to their senses and turned round before things got out of hand. Our celebrities, like the coyote from the road runner cartoons, only seem to be grasping for that next trick to stay in the game. So the adventure continues! It takes an exceptional person to be broken on the wheel.

Daily Dharma:

A cut worm loves the plow.

~ William Blake, Proverbs of Hell