It's pop o matic trouble!
By now everyone has heard about Lindsay Lohan's rumble with Ronson last week end. This occurred during what proved to be a wild Lohan style week end that only Lindsay could pull off. There were late night drinking and drugging binges (allegedly), trips to visit Jack Nicholson in the wee hours of the morning, and online Twitter freak outs! Beware the Ides of March!
The whole thing was set off when a warrant was issued for Ms Lohan on March 13 - other wise known as Friday the 13th. Apparently Lohan wasn't complying with some court order over some arrest for some hit and run that happened a year of so back. There have been so many that you can't really blame Lindz for losing track. Besides her recall (and grammar too, if some online messages are any indication) is not everything that it could be. When Lindz heard about the warrant she completely lost it. She whipped off a missive to Perezhilton, full of spelling errors, claiming that the warrant story was fabricated and could blow every deal she's got going. I doubt that she's got anything going, and what ever she's got can't be worth going ballistic over.
Anyway that sent La Lohan into a weekend long tail spin. During the way she had a 5 alarm blow out with Samantha Ronson. That was on Saturday morning, about 11 AM. She'd returned from her special tete e tete with Nicholson several hours previous (the English phrase might be heart to heart, but the French are just so much more knowing about these things. It's their legendary savior faire). The source of the argument seemed to be some DJ engagement that Ronson had. Ronson couldn't get out of it, and Lindsay could go with because she wasn't allowed to leave the state. So the lid blew straight off.
Between 11 AM & 12 PM the neighbours phoned the police. They got alarmed when they heard the sounds of 'something' hitting the walls. Plus stuff was flying out of the windows, and that was leaving glass scattered around everywhere. Then there was the obscene yelling. By the time the police showed up everything was calm, and no one answered the door. So they had to go away empty handed. However we know that World War 3 went down on the premises (although I suppose that we really have to say World War 4 in our post Bush era, just to be accurate), because there are plenty of picture from ground zero - and here they are!
Hunting for beaver, loaded for bear
It looks like they had the SWAT team out. Then again from what the neighbours are saying, the frightful sounds emanating from the premises made them fear that Chris Brown might be beating Rihanna with OJ Simpson inside! As it turned out, it was only a couple of scared, coked up, boozed out lesbians. Still it would've be a good idea to bring along the riot gear and tear gas, just to be on the safe. At least some pepper spray.
You might be glad to know that Lohan's madcap weekend has ended well enough. Ronson managed to get off to her gig, so some one will be bringing money into the household. 3 or 4 kind ladies with AA Blue Books showed up after the cops left, and stayed until Lindz could get it together (though that alone might have driven many of use to drink!) Lindsay and Sam are still together, because at this point who else would have either of them?? As for the warrant that started the whole commotion, well that's been dropped. Seems that the courts are describing it as no big deal. So Lindsay won't be going to jail, or not just yet (though she may give rehab another try). Jack Nicholson must have some clout in that town!! So it this Happily Ever After, or To Be Continued? Remember, when life hands you a lemon, throw in some club soda and whiskey - then shake violently!!
I never give you my pillow
I only send you my invitations
And in the middle of the celebrations
I break down
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