Can you tell the difference? 9 out of 10 Krauts can't tell the difference between regular Beyonce and new improved Beyonce!
Will the real Beyonce Knowles please stand up
The following is a tale of celebrities, impostors, and cunning ruses; but not in the way you might think. In fact it also involves an American giving a bunch of krauts the slip and getting away - just like in the movies, but not Scot free. The celebrity is none other than the lovely and talented Beyonce, and the impostor comes in during a recent high brow art gallery event over in Vienna Austria. Seems that the lovely Beyonce got invited to the Albertina Museum for a VIP tour and a photo op. Now Beyonce had a shopping spree planned for the same time as the tour, so this was a scheduling conflict - what to do? The answer was obvious - she just had to find away to be in 2 places at once!
Beyonce loves it when a plan comes together
Obviously that violates the fundamental laws of physics. When has a celebrity ever let a law stop them? So Beyonce set her pretty head to thinking and voila, she came up with a plan just crazy enough to work. While Beyonce was out and about shopping, she could send a double to the museum!
A funny thing happened on the way to the escape tunnel
Though the plan was crazy enough to work, it didn't. Some how the krauts caught on. I guess that they're much cleverer in reality than they were on Hogan's Heros. Not surprisingly the museum officials, who had taken the trouble to roll out the red carpet for the popular singer, were miffed to put it mildly. Museum spokes person Verena Dahlitz exclaimed to Austrian news agency APA "What cheek!" I'm not surprised they're upset either. It's one thing to be tricked, but a cheap stunt like that is just insulting A scheme like that might've come out of the most hackneyed WW2 POW movie!
body doubles - don't leave home without one!
To be fair to Beyonce she's not the only one to employ a stunt double. Such luminaries as Michael Jackson, Katie Holiness, and Jamie Lynn Spears have recruited look alikes to give their schedule some much needed slack. In fact even Paris Hilton has a stand, but not for herself. Apparently the reality TV heiress has a number of stand ins for her beloved side kick Tinkerbelle. Since the original Lassie had about 9 doubles, why shouldn't Tinks?
I was split in a transporter beam accident, I swear!
It's really a reasonable idea when you stop to think about it. Celebrities make a living by pretending to be something they're not. So what's the harm in some one pretending to be them? Whether it's the real phony Beyonce, or the phony real Beyonce; the fans will be just as excited, and the experience will be just as real. That is unless anyone finds out. Once the cover is blown then the whole zany plot comes off looking ridiculous. What's more once you're known to use phonies, then you can never use that stunt again. People will be expecting it. That means Beyonce has t come up with another zany scheme the next time she hopes to log in some shopping time. Now another scheme like that shouldn't be too hard to come by. Why I'm sure that watching a marathon session of I Love Lucy should give Beyonce dozens of similar ideas! Meanwhile she's got some 'splaining to do where the krauts are concerned.
You punch the roses, I'll pull the noses; it's what I'm a joker for
I suppose that Beyonce thinks she's pretty clever by pulling a stunt like that. Well here's a sorry situation that not even her body double could get her out of!
Bogus Zen: In life the most truthful thing, and the most beautiful, is to escape.
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