I won the British Lottery...see you suckers around!
It seems that Homer Simpson will finally be leaving FOX TV. The popular character resigned from the long running TV series shortly after receiving the following letter in the mail.
BRITISH NATIONAL LOTTERY HEADQUARTERS:28 TAN FIELD ROAD,
CROYDON, LONDON.
CUSTOMER SERVICE
Ref: UK/940X2/68
Dear Selected Winner,
This is to inform you that you have been selected for a cash Prize of £753,437.00 in cash from the British National Lottery New Year Bonanza Draw held on the 29TH of June, 2008 in United Kingdom.
We have been sending this notice to you but this is the last as we are about distributing winnings to winners.
The draw was done electronically with several email addresses provided to this office by microsoft to enhance the utilization of the internet.
Your email address was attached to Reference Number UK/940X2/68 and was picked as one of the ten winning email addresses.
This has qualified you to claim the total cash prize Of £753,437 (Seven Hundred and Fifty Three Thousand, Four Hundred and Thirty Seven Pound Sterling) in cash credited to file KTU/9023118308/03.
This is from a total cash prize of £7,534,370.00 shared amongst the first ten (10) lucky winners in this category B.
Your winnings will be issued to you as soon as our claims department verify your winning after you might have filled the payment processing form below.
Payment Processing Form for filing of claims.
1.Name in full.
2.Address in full.
3.Age.
4.Phone No.
5.Occupation
6.Winning Email Address
This will enable us process your payment processing form. You are advised to contact our claims department via these details:
ASSIGNED CLAIMS AGENT:
Dr.Reagan Kegan
EMAIL:reagan2kegan@live.com
Tel: +44 703 199 4580
+44 703 199 5678
Quote Your Reference Number as UK/9420X2/68 when you are filing your claims.
Yours Faithfully,
Sir. Steven Smith
Online Co-ordinator
The scammers couldn't belief their good fortune when Homer contacted them with his bank account credit card #'s - to speed up the money transfer. His friends did try to warn him, especially Flanders, but Homer wouldn't hear a word of it. He kept accusing them of 'being jealous', and asking why they were unable to be happy or him. I though that he'd learned his lesson back during his Publishers Clearing House fiasco (not to mention when he won the 1st and only Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence).There is no word on whether reality has set in for Homer yet, or if he can get his job back. He'll probably burn that bridge when he comes to it. I hear that Rupert Murdoch is a much tougher old billionaire to deal with, than the relatively lovable C Montgomery Burns.
Speaking of Flanders, here's a little dilly of a Daily Dharma:
"I'm sure that I couldn't have done better, I was just wondering whether God could have done better." When God met Job on the mountaintop, He didn't tell Job that it had been for his own good. That would've been adding insult to injury.
Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists
