Now I'm not saying that Angelina Jolie is hard to live with; I'll let the drunken actor say that!
Brad Pitt is thinking about death these days. That's not surprising: his critically acclaimed Benjamin Button leaned heavily on the natural processes as it's theme. When asked how he'd like to go, he even has some specific ideas: fire and enclosed spaces are out, while getting eaten by a shark is okay. At least that's what Big Brad said in a recent Rolling Stone interview. He also mentioned that his biggest pet peeve is when people start telling other people what to do - he sights Prop 8 as an example. This he says stems from his upbringing in which more emphasis was placed on what you couldn't do, then what you should.
Brad develops a knack for passive aggressive sarcasm
So then it seems some what ironic that he should've hooked up with Angelina Jolie. To call the woman controlling would be a dis service to tyrants. For instance when Jolie recently sold pictures of her new twins to Peoplemag, she slapped them with all sorts of restrictions. For one thing there was a ban on using the phrase Brangelina. I guess that nick name must be getting right up Angie's nose by now. There's more; the mag was also only permitted to cover the couple in a 'favourable light'. In other words Angie can do what she wants, but you have to watch what you say about that. Then, if you're willing to agree to these terms and stipulations, Angie might think about letting you give her some money!
Little Miss Flighty gets high & mighty
It's not the first time that Angie has gotten all fascist with the press. An award season or two ago there were rumours that she had some paper work drawn up by her crack legal team, which stipulated what the press could and couldn't ask her. Nothing about her alleged past with brother James Haven for instance. Now that's a sore spot with Angie, and if she's not gonna take that kind of talk from Jay Leno, then she certainly isn't gonna put up with it from Joe Paparazzi.
I deny that I have anything to deny, & I ain't afraid of you
Now Angie adamantly denied this - the press gag order I mean, not the brother humping. For one thing she wants everyone to know that she's a progressive free thinker. Living in France was her idea after all. Also she wants everyone to know that she ain't the kind of girl who scares easily. It takes a lot more than some grubby little paparazzi to rattle her cage - like maybe Jennifer Aniston. However the paps have had it in for her ever afterward.
It was supposed to be a bed of roses, so what went wrong with the Pitts?
Now considering what a reputed delight she is interview and work with (Joan Rivers once described Jolie as so dumb that when she saw a sign on set marked Wet Floor she did! Giving Jolie the benefit of the doubt, she's probably not that stupid; she was just stoned out of her mind), she must be unadulterated bliss to live with. Her temper tantrums, irrational demands, and insatiable need for reassurance must make Mr Pitt's life an uninterrupted series of halcyon days. More likely life with the dragon lady has caused his mind to drift hopefully towards thoughts of his own ultimate demise and eventual escape. More likely life with Angie is what's behind his sudden spate of drunken public appearances and half soused interviews lately. It's not that he doesn't love her - she hasn't left him any choice in that. It's just that he needs an occasional mental escape from the stress and tension. Just 'cause your as tough as nails doesn't mean that you don't also need to get hammered. Still it could be worse. Apparently young Maddox is web surfing weapons and checking out white supremacist sites. The lad is still too young for anti depressant medications, or weapons grade plutonium. Meanwhile maybe Brad can get together with Katie Holmes; to commiserate, compare notes, drown their sorrows, and perhaps even begin work on an escape tunnel!
Brad Pitt is thinking about death these days. That's not surprising: his critically acclaimed Benjamin Button leaned heavily on the natural processes as it's theme. When asked how he'd like to go, he even has some specific ideas: fire and enclosed spaces are out, while getting eaten by a shark is okay. At least that's what Big Brad said in a recent Rolling Stone interview. He also mentioned that his biggest pet peeve is when people start telling other people what to do - he sights Prop 8 as an example. This he says stems from his upbringing in which more emphasis was placed on what you couldn't do, then what you should.
